I wanted to upload musings.html after finishing at least one entry but that's proving somewhat difficult as of late. Between building pages and admissions and trying to not straight up fail my schoolwork I've really forgotten how to talk. The page won't look good without at least one thing though so I'll attempt to scrap something quick together.

There are a few things that I've been wanting to talk about at length in the past week, but obviously those aren't going to be the focus of this placeholder-ish article. I've realized some flaws in my mindset, thought about gender some more, felt weird about art all of a sudden, had one too many mood swings, skipped more than three classes because of strange reasons, and generally felt foggy as hell. In the few years after I've finally coalesced into a slightly coherent and intelligence-possessing being, this one is the strangest yet. Most of the time I have no idea what's going on anywhere ever, which is probably not a good sign, but I've also accomplished so much more than I have ever before. So it's weird.

I haven't played games in a long time. Towards the end of the summer it was because I was too busy, and later on it was that I had a messy desk and there isn't really much space for me to comfortably use keyboard and mouse, much less do virtual fighting with them. More recently I picked Cult of the Lamb back up again, mostly because I play that on a controller and nothing is stopping me from doing that. I haven't read a book in a long time either, but that's been an issue for two years already. I guess both of these could be chalked up to other things draining my mental energy, since I do put a lot of energy into gaming and I need incentive to get into a new book. As of late my entertainment is mostly art, comics, cartoons, videos, and the occasional story. I mean ones connected to fandoms and things I'm already familiar with. There's some psychological explanation for this that I've seen somewhere on the internet about why people re-read or re-watch stuff or have comfort fics and the like. It makes sense, is all.

Also a strange development: due to me just having too many things on both my desk and my side table, I've begun working on the ground. Specifically I have my laptop on my bed and I kneel on the ground and type. I know a laptop is a laptop and meant(?) to be used on your lap when a table isn't avaliable, but somehow kneeling on the cold, hard ground feels better when I'm trying to get things done. Most of the time it's fine. If I do it for too long my knees hurt but then I could just sit on the ground instead.

In other news, we might be getting a cat. I have a rabbit and a bird, and family pets are family pets but they're both kind of mine and my sister views them that way as well. She wants a cat. I used to want a cat when I was younger but then I learned I don't really like cats that much (they're ok but I'm not dying and squealing over them) and I liked my rabbit more anyway. I'm a bit concerned about inter-species coexistence issues but I guess they'll figure something out.

My rabbit and bird :3

That's about all the notable recent events so far. I'm still busy as hell and stuck between deadlines at every turn and also wasting my time constantly, so I'll wrap this entry up. I probably won't be journaling like this in the future at all; I already have about five drafts where I just focus on a topic, which is...probably how blogs work anyway? I have no idea. You'd think since I spend so much of my time on the internet I would know things like this, but no, I don't.

Anyway, stick around, maybe? I'll be much more interesting in the future, I prommy.