⟡ are you missing something ?
misc lyrics. they're different from the poems because i wrote them with intent. they're meant to
be songs, and some of them do have a melody and a loosely-drafted bgm, but it's unlikely that
i'd be able to figure music production out in the short term, so here they are.
navigate using the directory to the right.
saturn's rings ( for karthia )
song i wrote for ( or inspired by? ) one of my coc characters. first actual finished song i ever wrote. tried to use ai to make a melody for it in my unenlightened days and now i'm unable to think of an original melody, curse you.
I zoned out while staring at the wall again
I wonder if I've gotten enough sleep
Going home hanging up the phone that's on my stand
Sometimes I seriously wonder if this is all there is
Is this the end
Is this the end
Turn the TV remote on again and watch the colors float
See an image that's much better than what I could ever hope
Gotten several highs so now it's time for the final low
Sometimes I seriously wonder if this is really it
Is this the end
Is this the end
Is this the end
I'll shoot myself on the pavement
Watch my blood seep down the drain
Oh my body's getting heavier I'm laughing through the pain
If I could really make it
Face it, mom'll probably hate it
Go handle the world when you're not fucking sedated
I'll run as far as the horizon
Stick a knife into your back
I try to find my box of memories but find there's nothing left
Clutch on to my driver's license
Maybe the road'll slowly lighten
I'll go reconcile with runaways that claim no one'll ever find them
I snuck some bottles into the house that day
But it's not like anyone will tell me off for it
I really think that everything's better now the way it is
But the small voice in my head asks if this is all I'll ever get
Is this the end
Is this the end
Hop on my bike with loud music in my ears
Grip the handles, speed up, violent wind rushing through my hair
At that moment I thought there is nothing I could ever fear
But the small voice in my head says I'm not going anywhere
Is this the end
Is this the end
Is this the end
I'll shoot myself on the pavement
Watch my blood seep down the drain
Oh my body's getting heavier I don't know what to think
Please tell me that it's all a dream
Since nothing's ever as it seems
I'll find my truth that's resting somewhere inside Saturn's rings
I'll run as far as the horizon
Stick a knife into your back
I try to find my box of memories but find out it's all an act
A moment that'll never last
A test that I will never pass
I guess I'll take the hint and carve myself another path
The rift that I should mend is a box of mints in my hand
The smell of sunshine in my hair is proof you've never left
I tore up the note that said goodbye
Catching the rhythm, howling up to the sky
I can't see the stars and I don't know why
If I fall from the roof will I learn to fly?
If I start again will I feel alive?
Will the world beyond still be full of lies?
Can I fall into a dream to when I'm five
Again
Can you come over and watch the clouds with me sometime
one-shot
One summer when the heat won’t end
and the world’s almost starting to light
The air pulled me in a suffocating embrace
water and bone will intertwine
And you’ll try to put your hand on my shoulder
as if my flesh is just mine
I don’t know what has happened
A switch flicked, maybe, want me to take flight
On the last days of the golden days
a drop of poison
everything’s the same
We lost her somewhere in the deep recesses of the earth
just leave me be
I’m already insane
You take my thoughts from me
condensing all my sorrows into a word
like chromatin
You stand against the world
on a blood red backdrop
like a sunrise
pierced by a sword
until then i will dream my days away
title suggested by friend. in my notes app it's just titled ' stupid ass song '.
wrote during a class i hate with all my being. maybe a vent, not sure.
Isn't it funny how they say
That everything will be okay
When i was young i followed the light and was led astray
It's getting harder to find another way
And oh, I'm sorry
Won't question your authority
But what if you're just wrong
And oh, i dont think
I owe you anything
Why would i, when i never asked to be born
I don't wanna go to college anymore
I want to die
Don't wanna Please people that i don't know
In exchange for my own life
Despite all you said about how it wasn't for you
That it was for me
I don't see how and ingrained mindset can set anyone free
It's just so funny when they say
You just have to push through the pain
I did that, it was fine, but why do this for all my life
It's getting harder to find another way
And i know nothing
I want to know something
At least enough for me to say
That i know how to
Make everything better
But until then guess I'll dream my days away
I don't wanna go to college anymore
I want to die
Don't wanna Please people that i don't know
In exchange for my own life
Despite all you said about how it wasn't for you
That it was for me
I don't see how and ingrained mindset can set anyone free
Plagued by my thoughts
Recount my flaws
It's no one's fault but mine
It's bold of you to just assume
I'm anything but fine
Everyone's concerned about appearances
But look how we are inside
For better or worse, our cores are rotten
Breaking apart but by design
I don't wanna go to college anymore
I want to live
Digging up dreams i hid in my drawers
Believe them like a kid
Despite all the problems
All the danger
All the discomfort change might bring
I hope this is the year where everything won't stay the same